The Inner Self? (10-19)

The second chapter of Siddhartha is very confusing. The topic of "the inner self" is highly controversial. The book expresses that by losing one's self and ones necessities, one becomes part of a whole, and each of its parts. As soon as one becomes physically selfless, one can experience being anything (even inanimate objects). I have a different take on the relationship between one and the whole. I think that one has to be a self to be part of the whole. Each part (or self) plays an essential role in the whole. By finding one's role in the whole, one is fulfilled. Siddhartha successfully becomes selfless, and therefore becomes everything.

However, this is not big enough for Siddhartha. While reading this I wondered what could be bigger than the whole? Apparently what Siddhartha wants is to achieve Nirvana. Is Nirvana breaking away from the cycle of the whole?, or is it becoming the whole permanently, and not just temporarily? Apparently Nirvana is a knowledge that cannot be learned. Why would one want something that one knows one cannot have (like a 5 year old wanting a ferrari)?

Every person has an inner struggle to find something greater than life. A lot of people have found this in religion and God. Every century or so, a person appears who believes that he has that secret knowledge. Some of these people include Jesus, Mohammed, and of course, Buddha. Usually, these people have followers. What is very sad is that no one realizes that we are a tiny insignificant speck in the universe. In our condition of megalomaniacs, we think of our quests for knowledge and wisdom as great and meaningful. Pessimistically, I have concluded that for humans, there is nothing bigger than life.